そ kickass Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations download ⎍ By William Ury ␅

そ kickass Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations download ⎍ By William Ury ␅ そ kickass Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations download ⎍ By William Ury ␅ A world renowned negotiator, mediator, and bestselling author, William Ury directs the Global Negotiation Project at Harvard University Over the last thirty years he has helped millions of people, hundreds of organizations, and numerous countries at war reach satisfying agreements. OverviewBreaking Through Barriers to CooperationDiplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.Daniele Vare, Italian diplomatWe all negotiate every day Much of our time is spent trying to reach agreement with others We may try to negotiate in a cooperative spirit but frequently we find ourselves frustrated We want to get to yes, but often the answer we get back is NO.Think of a typical day Over breakfast you may get into an argument with your spouse about buying a new car You think it s time, but your spouse says, Don t be ridiculous You know we can t afford it right now You arrive at work for a morning meeting with your boss You present a carefully prepared proposal for a new project, but your boss interrupts you after a minute and says We already tried that and it didn t work Next item.During your lunch hour you try to return a defective toaster oven, but the salesperson refuses to refund your money because you don t have the sales slip It s store policy.In the afternoon you bring an already agreed upon contract to a client for his signature You have trumpeted the deal to your associates and made the necessary arrangements with manufacturing But your client tells you I m sorry My boss refuses to okay the purchase unless you give us a fifteen percent discount.In the evening you need to return some phone calls, but the line is tied up by your thirteen year old Exasperated, you say, Get off the phone The teenager shouts down the hall, Why don t you get me my own phone line All my friends have them Each of us faces tough negotiations with an irritable spouse, a domineering boss, a rigid salesperson, a tricky customer, or an impossible teenager Under stress, even nice, reasonable people can turn into angry, intractable opponents Negotiations can bog down or break down, consuming our time, keeping us awake at night, and giving us ulcers.Broadly defined, negotiation is the process of back and forth communication aimed at reaching agreement with others when some of your interests are shared and some are opposed Negotiation is not limited to the activity of formally sitting across a table discussing a contentious issue it is the informal activity you engage in whenever you try to get something you want from another person.Think for a moment about how you make important decisions in your lifethe decisions that have the greatest impact on your performance at work and your satisfaction at home How many of those decisions can you make unilaterally and how many do you have to reach with othersthrough negotiation Most people I ask this question answer I have to negotiate almost all of them Negotiation is the pre eminent form of decision making in personal and professional life.It is also increasingly the most important means of making decisions in the public arena Even if we aren t personally sitting at the table, our lives are affected by the outcome of negotiations When talks between the school board and teachers union break down and the teachers go on strike, our children end up staying home from school When negotiations between our business and a potential purchaser fall through and the business goes bankrupt, we may lose our jobs When discussions between our government and its adversaries come to naught, the result may be war In sum, negotiations shape our lives.Joint Problem SolvingWe may all be negotiators, yet many of us don t like to negotiate We see negotiation as stressful confrontation We see ourselves faced with an unpleasant choice If we are soft in order to preserve the relationship, we end up giving up our position If we are hard in order to win our position, we strain the relationship or perhaps lose it altogether.There is an alternative joint problem solving It is neither exclusively soft nor hard, but a combination of each It is soft on the people, hard on the problem Instead of attacking each other, you jointly attack the problem Instead of glowering across the table, you sit next to each other facing your common problem In short, you turn face to face confrontation into side by side problem solving This is the kind of negotiation Roger Fisher and I described than a decade ago in our book Getting to Yes.Joint problem solving revolves around interests instead of positions You begin by identifying each side s intereststhe concerns, needs, fears, and desires that underlie and motivate your opposing positions You then explore different options for meeting those interests Your goal is to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement in an efficient and amicable fashion.If you are looking for a promotion and raise, for example, and your boss says there s no money in the budget, the negotiation doesn t stop there It becomes an exercise in joint problem solving Your boss inquires about your interests, which may be to pay your children s tuition and to grow in your job You brainstorm together about how to satisfy these interests while staying within the budget You may end up agreeing on a new set of responsibilities, a tuition loan from the company, and the promise of a raise next year to pay back the loan Your basic interests are satisfied so are your employer s.Joint problem solving can generate better results for both sides It saves time and energy by cutting out the posturing And it usually leads to better working relationships and to mutual benefit in the future.Five Barriers to CooperationSkeptics are quick to point out that all this is easy to say, but hard to do The principles of joint problem solving, they say, are like marriage vows of mutual support and fidelity They no doubt produce satisfying relationships, but they are hard to apply in the real world of stresses and strains, temptations and tempests.At the start, you may try to get your opponent to tackle the problem jointly, but instead you may find yourselves in a face to face confrontation It is all too easy to get drawn into a ferocious emotional battle, to fall back into the familiar routine of adopting rigid positions, or to let the other side take advantage of you.There are real world barriers that get in the way of cooperation The five most common ones are Your reaction The first barrier lies within you Human beings are reaction machines When you re under stress, or when you encounter a NO, or feel you are being attacked, you naturally feel like striking back Usually this just penetrates the action reaction cycle that leaves both sides losers Or, alternatively, you may react by impulsively giving in just to end the negotiation and preserve the relationship You lose and, having demonstrated your weakness, you expose yourself to exploitation by others The problem you thus face in negotiation is not only the other side s difficult behavior but your own reaction, which can easily perpetuate that behavior Their emotion The next barrier is the other side s negative emotions Behind their attacks may lie anger and hostility Behind their rigid positions may lie fear and distrust Convinced they are right and you are wrong, they may refuse to listen Seeing the world as eat or be eaten, they may feel justified in using nasty tactics Their position In joint problem solving, you face the problem and attack it together The barrier in the way is the other side s positional behavior their habit of digging into a position and trying to get you to give in Often they know no other way to negotiate They are merely using the conventional negotiating tactics they first learned in the sandbox In their eyes, the only alternative is for them to give inand they certainly don t want to do that Their dissatisfaction Your goal may be to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement, but you may find the other side not at all interested in such an outcome They may not see how it will benefit them Even if you can satisfy their interests, they may fear losing face if they have to back down And if it is your idea, they may reject it for that reason alone Their power Finally, if the other side sees the negotiation as a win lose proposition, they will be determined to beat you They may be guided by the precept What s mine is mine What s yours is negotiable If they can get what they want by power plays, why should they cooperate with you Getting past no requires breaking through each of these five barriers to cooperation your reaction, their emotion, their position, their dissatisfaction, and their power It is easy to believe that stonewalling, attacks, and tricks are just part of the other side s basic nature, and that there is little you can do to change such difficult behavior But you can affect this behavior if you can deal successfully with its underlying motivations.The Breakthrough StrategyThis book lays out a five step strategy for breaking through each of these five barriersthe strategy of breakthrough negotiation.An analogy from sailing will help explain this strategy In sailing, you rarely if ever get to your destination by heading straight for it In between you and your goal are strong winds and tides, reefs and shoals, not to speak of storms and squalls To get where you want to go, you need to tackto zigzag your way toward your destination.The same is true in the world of negotiation Your desired destination is a mutually satisfactory agreement The direct routefocusing first on interests and then developing options that satisfy those interestsseems straightforward and easy But in the real world of strong reactions and emotions, rigid positions, powerful dissatisfactions and aggressions, you often cannot get to a mutually satisfactory agreement by the direct route Instead, you need to navigate past no by trackingtaking an indirect route.The essence of the breakthrough strategy is indirect action It requires you to do the opposite of what you naturally feel like doing in difficult situations When the other side stonewalls or attacks, you may feel like responding in kind Confronted with hostility, you may argue Confronted with unreasonable positions, you may reject Confronted with intransigence, you may push Confronted with aggression, you may escalate But this just leaves you frustrated, playing the other side s game by their rules.Your single greatest opportunity as a negotiator is to change the game Instead of playing their way, let them have your waythe way of joint problem solving The great home run hitter Sadahara Oh, the Japanese equivalent of Babe Ruth, once explained his batting secret Oh said that he looked on the opposing pitcher as his partner, who with every pitch was serving up an opportunity for him to hit a home run Breakthrough negotiators do the same They treat their opponents as negotiating partners who are presenting an opportunity to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement.As in the Japanese martial arts of judo, jujitsu, and aikido, you need to avoid pitting your strength directly against your opponent s Since efforts to break down the other side s resistance usually only increase it, you try to go around their resistance That is the way to break through.Breakthrough negotiation is the opposite of imposing your position on the other side Rather than pounding in a new idea from the outside, you encourage them to reach for it from within Rather than telling them what to do, you let them figure it out Rather than pressuring them to change their mind, you create an environment in which they can learn Only they can break through their own resistance your job is to help them.Their resistance to joint problem solving stems from the five barriers described above Your job as a breakthrough negotiator is to clear away the barriers that lie between their NO and the YES of a mutually satisfactory agreement For each of the five barriers, there is a corresponding step in the strategy Step One Since the first barrier is your natural reaction, the first step involves suspending that reaction To engage in joint problem solving, you need to regain your mental balance and stay focused on achieving what you want A useful image for getting perspective on the situation is to imagine yourself standing on a balcony looking down on your negotiation The first step in the breakthrough strategy is to Go to the Balcony.Step Two The next barrier for you to overcome is the other side s negative emotionstheir defensiveness, fear, suspicion, and hostility It is all too easy to get drawn into an argument, but you need to resist this temptation Just as you ve regained your mental balance, you need to help the other side regain theirs To create the right climate for joint problem solving, you need to defuse their negative emotions To do this, you need to do the opposite of what they expect They expect you to behave like an adversary Instead, you should take their side by listening to them, acknowledging their points and their feelings, agreeing with them, and showing them respect If you want to sit side by side facing the problem, you will need to Step to Their Side.Step Three Now you want to tackle the problem together This is hard to do, however, when the other side digs into their position and tries to get you to give in It s natural to feel like rejecting their position, but this will only lead them to dig in further So do the opposite Accept whatever they say and reframe it as an attempt to deal with the problem For example, take their position and probe behind it Tell me Help me understand why you want that Act as if they were your partners genuinely interested in solving the problem The third step in the breakthrough strategy is to Reframe.Step Four While you may now have engaged the other side in joint problem solving, you may still be far from reaching a mutually satisfactory agreement The other side may be dissatisfied, unconvinced of the benefits of agreement You may feel like pushing them, but this will only make them resistant So do the opposite In the words of the Chinese sage, build a golden bridge from their position to a mutually satisfactory solution You need to bridge the gap between their interests and yours You need to help them save face and make the outcome look like a victory for them The fourth step is to Build Them a Golden Bridge.Step Five Despite your best efforts, the other side may still refuse to cooperate, believing they can beat you at the power game You may be tempted at this point to escalate Threats and coercion often backfire, however, and lead to costly and futile battles The alternative is to use power not to escalate, but to educate Enhance your negotiating power and use it to bring them back to the table Show them that they cannot win by themselves but only together with you The fifth step is to Use Power to Educate.The sequence of the steps is important You cannot defuse the other side s negative emotions unless you have controlled your own It is hard to build them a golden bridge unless you have changed the game to joint problem solving This does not mean that once you have taken one step, you have completed it On the contrary, you need to keep going to the balcony throughout the negotiation As the other side s anger and frustration resurface, you need to keep stepping to their side The process is like a symphony in which the different instruments join in sequentially and then play their parts throughout.Breakthrough negotiation can be used with anyonean irascible boss, a temperamental teenager, a hostile co worker, or an impossible customer It can be used by diplomats trying to stave off a war, lawyers trying to avoid a costly court battle, or spouses trying to keep a marriage together.Because every person and every situation is different, you will need to marry the five breakthrough principles with your own knowledge of the particulars in order to create a strategy that works for you There is no magic recipe that will guarantee your success in every negotiation But with patience, persistence, and the breakthrough strategy, you can maximize your chances of getting what you want in even the most difficult negotiations.The chapters that follow explain the five breakthrough steps and present specific techniques for carrying them out, illustrating their application with concrete examples First, however, you will find a prologue about the key to effective negotiation preparation. Getting Past Your Take Control of Life with Getting Self Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy Dr Francine Shapiro is the originator and developer therapy She a Senior Research Fellow at Mental Institute in Palo Alto, California, Director Institute, founder non profit Humanitarian Assistance Programs, which provides pro bono training treatment to underserved populations worldwide The Strategies For Gatekeepers Forbes Jun , Anderson lives near my neighborhood business, it turns out, but I didn t know him when he began his efforts reach me on April this year no joke Shiny Oh So Bright, Vol LP No Future The Smashing Pumpkins have reunited mostlyThey are playing sold out reunion dates mostlyAnd, hear frontman Billy Corgan, guitarist James Iha, drummer Jimmy Chamberlin say it, least Common Workplace Fears But boss knows that you their back, they will show vulnerabilities Every has them your ability detect ones can support get one step closer How Get Customs Without Giving Up Digital As those intrusions become common aggressive Trump era, WIRED assembled following advice legal security experts preserve digital privacy while crossing Bypass Gatekeeper More Cold Calling meeting level counts Four key sales strategies hand m tired reading hearing about how past gatekeeper Emails, articles, news flashes, blasts, webinars, podcasts make blood boil These Marriage Based Green Card After If US Citizenship Immigration Services USCIS or another immigration agency such as consulate finds entered into marriage for sole purpose getting green card, not be eligible any other visa petitions approved behalf later including based new continued citizen permanent resident Haunted by its illicit past, poitn promo Haunted overhaul ensure future Two decades after drink was legalised, take up been mere trickle William Ury walk yes TED Talk William Ury, author Yes, offers an elegant, simple easy way create agreement even most difficult situations family conflict to, perhaps, Middle East Golden Bridge Sep How Do You Build Bridge phrase comes Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu, who twenty five hundred years ago wrote book called Art WarHe talked building opponent golden bridge retreat across Talk Subtitles Transcript Yes Wikipedia Negotiating Agreement In best selling fiction Roger Fisher L UrySubsequent editions added Bruce Patton co All authors were members Harvard Negotiation ProjectThe made appearances Business Week bestseller list suggests method principled To Negotiate title s without It case where clearly lays what Summary Chapters, PDF Review Mar Book Person Page peerage John Lawrence Baird st Viscount Stonehaven born London, England G He son Sir Alexander Bt Hon Annette Maria Palk married Ethel Sydney Keith Falconer, Countess Kintore, daughter Algernon Hawkins Thomond th Earl Kintore Lady Charlotte Montagu, Boyce Thompson Thompson, May June American mining engineer, financier, prominent Republican party, philanthropist, Newmont MiningThompson significant early twentieth century mine operators discovered exploited vast copper deposits revolutionized Western mining, reaped themselves tremendous Mueller Perjury Traps americanthinker Dec Dropping Paul Manafort cooperating witness ruins credibility far anything told Mueller testimony may forced give respect About Erica Ariel Fox Apr sees Winning Within logical next step, two previous books originating Law School Program PON world leading think tank making deals resolving disputes first book, late offered seminal separate people problem BraveHeart Questions Answers Braveheart questions answers here Fred Dingelhoff Freedom Sword text October Smith Wallace Capture Thomas Dobie Sons Michael Skowronek Pipe music March Stefanie Gtz Blue face Emotional Competency Respect Respect, Acknowledging Dignity others recognize sincerely acknowledge humanity, worth, significance Artcyclopedia Artist Names Complete List A Z Browse Artists Alphabetically Beginning Z Becket Painter Hans von Aachen German Alvar Aalto Finnish Architect Magdalena Abakanowicz Polish Sculptor Masseot Abaquesne French Potter Riza i Abbasi Persian Louise Abbema Edwin Austin Abbey Illustrator Muralist Berenice Abbott Relationships relationship history interactions between Relationships reciprocity mutual exchange Although each many features define pervasive characteristic symmetry exchanges either symmetrical peer based, asymmetrical power Five Steps Helping Excerpt Difficult Situations Whether negotiating boss, hostage taker, teenager, basic principles remain same helped millions learn better negotiate One primary business texts modern work Project, group all levels negotiation resolution proven Western use swastika Swastika name small residential community northern Ontario, Canada, approximately kilometres north Toronto, west Kirkland Lake, town now partThe founded Gold nearby Mining Company formed government Ontario attempted change during Browse By Author W Project Gutenberg free ebooks online Did help us produce proof just page day Go Distributed Proofreaders Wrightslaw Topics Mediation Links hundreds special education law advocacy newsletters, cases, practical guidance parents, advocates, attorneys Wrightslaw comprehensive site Internet Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations


    • Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations
    • 1.3
    • 52
    • Paperback
    • 208 pages
    • William Ury
    • English
    • 22 February 2018

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