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৶ Get The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires online 䶺 Ebook By Molly Harper ᑄ

৶ Get The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires online 䶺 Ebook By Molly Harper ᑄ ৶ Get The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires online 䶺 Ebook By Molly Harper ᑄ The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires 1 The thing to remember about a stray vampire is that there is probably a good reason he is friendless, alone, and wounded Approach with caution The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires How did an internal debate regarding flavored sexual aids become part of my workday I was a good person I went to church on the big days I was a college graduate Nice, God fearing people with bachelors degrees in botany should not end up standing in the pharmacy aisle at Walmart debating which variety of flavored lube is best Ugh, forget it, Im going with Sensual Strawberry I sighed, throwing the obscenely pink box into the basket Diandra Starra poorly thought out pole name if Id ever heard onehad managed to snag the worlds only codependent vampire My client, Mr Rychek When she made her quarterly visits to Half Moon Hollow, I was turned into some bizarre hybrid of Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother, waking up at dawn to find voicemails and e mails detailing the numerous needs that must be attended to at once Mr Rychek seemed convinced that Diandra would flounce away on her designer platform heels unless her every whim was anticipated No demand for custom blended bath salts was considered too extravagant No organic, free trade food requirement was too extreme And the lady liked her sexual aids to taste of summer fruits I surveyed the contents of the cart against the list Iron supplements Check Organic almond milk Check Flavored lube Check I did not pretend to understand the dynamics of human vampire relationships Shopping in the special dietary needs aisle was always an adventure An unexpected side effect of the Great Coming Out in 1999 was the emergence of all night industries, special products, and cottage businesses, like mine, that catered to the needs of undead Americans Companies were tripping over one another to come up with products for a spanking new marketing demographic synthetic blood, protein additives, dental care accessories, lifelike bronzers The problem was that those companies still hadnt figured out packaging for the undead and tended to jump on bizarre trending bandwagons, the most recent being a brand of plasma concentrate that came pouring out of what looked like a Kewpie doll You had to flip back the head to open it Its even creepy than it sounds Between that and the sporty, aggressively neon tubes of Razor Wire Floss, the clear bubble shaped pots of Solar Shield SPF 500 sunblock, and the black Gothic boxes of Forever Smooth moisturizing serum, the vampire aisle was ground zero for visual overstimulation I stopped in my tracks, pulling the cart to an abrupt halt in the middle of the pharmacy section as I recalled that Rycheks girlfriend was a vegan I started to review the label to determine whether the flavored lube was an animal by product But I found that I honestly didnt care It was 4 20, which meant that I had an hour to drop this stuff by Mr Rycheks house, drop the service contracts by a new clients house in Deer Haven, and then get to Half Moon Hollow High for the volleyball booster meeting Such was the exotic and glamorous life of the Hollows only daytime vampire concierge My company, Beeline, was part special event coordinator, part concierge service, part personal organizer In addition to wedding planning, I took care of all the little details vampires didnt have time for or just didnt want to deal with themselves Although it was appropriate, I tried to avoid the term daywalker unless I was dealing with established clients It turns out that if you put an ad for a daywalker service in the Yellow Pages, you get a lot of calls from people who expect you to scoop Fluffys sidewalk leavings And I was allergic to dogsand their leavings On my sprint to the checkout, I cast a longing glance at the candy aisle and its many forbidden sugary pleasures With my compulsive sweet tooth, I did not discriminate against chocolate, gummies, taffy, lollipops, or even those weird so sour the citric acid burns off your tastebuds torture candies But between my sister Gigis worries about the potential for adult onset diabetes in our gene pool and my tendency toward what I prefer to call curviness, I only broke into the various candy caches I had stashed around the house under great personal stress Or if it was a weekday Placating myself with a piece of sugarless gum, I whizzed through the express lane and loaded Mr Rycheks weekend supplies into what Gigi, in all her seventeen year old sarcastic glory, called the Dorkmobile I agreed that an enormous yellow minivan was not exactly a sexy car But until she could suggest another way to haul cases of synthetic blood, Gothic themed wedding cakes, and, once, a pet crate large enough for a Bengal tiger, Id told Gigi she had to suck it up and ride shotgun in the Dorkmobile The next fall, shed used her earnings from the Half Moon Hollow Country Club and Catfish Farm snack bar to buy a secondhand VW Bug Never underestimate a teenagers work ethic if the end result is averted embarrassment I used my security pass to get past the gate into Deer Haven, a private, secure subdivision inhabited entirely by vampires and their human pets It was always a little spooky driving through this perfectly maintained, cookie cutter ghost suburb during the day The streets and driveways were empty The windows were shuttered tight against the sunlight Sometimes I expected tumbleweeds to come bouncing past my car Then again, Id never seen the neighborhood awake and hopping after dark I made it a policy to be well out of my clients homes before the sun set With the exception of the clients whose newly legal weddings I helped plan, I rarely saw any of them face to face I allowed my wedding clients a little leeway, because they were generally too distracted by their own issues to bother nibbling on me And still, I only met with them in public places with a lot of witnesses present Although it had been than ten years since the Great Coming Out and vampire human relations were vastly improved since the early pitchfork and torch days, some vampires were still a bit touchy about humans efforts to wipe out their species They refused to let any human they hadnt met in person near their homes while they were sleeping and vulnerable After years of working with them, I had no remaining romantic notions about vampires They had the same capacity for good and evil that humans do And despite what most TV evangelists preached, I believed they had souls The problem was that the cruelest tendencies can emerge when a person is no longer restricted to the no biting, no using people as food rules that humans insist on If you were a jerk in your original life, youre probably going to be a bigger undead jerk If you were a decent person, youre probably not going to change much beyond your diet and skin care regimen With vampires, you had to be able to operate from a distance, whether that distance was physical or emotional My business was built on guarded, but optimistic, trust And a can of vampire pepper spray that I kept in my purse I opened the back of my van and hitched the crate of supplies against my hip I had pretty impressive upper body strength for a petite gal, but it was at times like these, struggling to schlep the crate up Mr Rycheks front walk, that I wondered why Id never hired an assistant Oh, right, because I couldnt afford one Until my little business, Beeline, started showing a profit margin just above lemonade stand, I would have to continue toting my own barge and lifting my own bale I looked forward to the day when heavy lifting wouldnt determine my wardrobe or hairstyle On days like this, I tended toward sensible flats, twin sets, and pencil skirts in dark, smudge proof colors I liked to throw in a pretty blouse every once in a while, but it depended on whether I could wash synthetic blood out of it No matter how careful you are, sometimes there are mishaps And the hair It was difficult for human companions, blood bank staff, and storekeepers to take me seriously when I walked around with a crazy cloud of dark curls framing my head Having Diana Rosss do didnt exactly inspire confidence, so I twisted my hair into a thick coil at the nape of my neck Gigi called it my sexy schoolmarm look, having little sympathy for me and my frizz But since we shared the same unpredictable follicles, I was biding my time until she got her first serious job and realized how difficult it was to be considered a professional when your hair was practically sentient I used another keyless entry code to let myself into Mr Rycheks tidy little town house Some American vampires lived in groups of threes and fours in what vampire behaviorists called nesting, but most of my clients, like Mr Rychek, were loners They had little habits and quirks that would annoy anyone, human or immortal, after a few centuries So they lived alone and relied on people like me to bring the outside world to them I put the almond milk in the fridge and discreetly tucked the other items into a kitchen cabinet I checked the memo board for further requests and was relieved to find none I only hoped I could get through Diandras visit without being called and ordered to find a twenty four hour emergency vet service for her hypoallergenic cat, Ginger That stupid furball had some sort of weird fascination with prying open remote controls and swallowing the batteries And somehow Diandra was always shocked when it happened As an afterthought, I moved Mr Rycheks remote from the coffee table to the top of the TV One stop before I could put in my time at the booster meeting, go home, and bury myself in the romance novel Id squirreled away inside the dust jacket for The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes If Gigi saw the bare chested gladiator on the cover, the mockery would be inventive and, most likely, public My new clients house was conveniently located in the newer section of Deer Haven, at the end of a long row of matching beige condos As usual, I had to count the house numbers three times before I was sure I was at the right door, and I wondered how wrong it would be to mark my clients doors with big fluorescent yellow bumblebees And yes, I knew it seemed inconsistent to name a company that dealt with vampires after a sunny, summer loving insect But bees were so efficient, zipping from one place to another, never forgetting the task at hand That was the image I wanted to convey Besides, way too many vampire oriented businesses went with a Goth theme My cheerful yellow logo stood out in the undead services section of the phone book Entering the security code provided on his new client application, I popped the door open, carrying my usual Thank you for supporting Beeline floral arrangement inside Most vampires enjoyed waking up to fresh flowers The sight and smell reminded them of their human days, when they could wander around in the daylight unscathed And they didnt have to know that Id harvested the artfully arranged roses, irises, and freesias from my own garden The appearance of an expensive gift was important than the actual cost of said gift Mr C Calix certainly hadnt wasted any money on redecorating, I mused as I walked into the bare beige foyer and set the vase on the generic maple end table The place was dark, which was to be expected, given the sunproof metal shades clamped over the windows But there was little furniture in the living room, no dining room table, no art or pictures on the clean taupe walls The place looked barely lived in, even for a dead guys house Scraping past a few cardboard packing boxes, I walked into the kitchen, where Id agreed to leave the contracts My foot caught on a soft weight on the floor Mother of fudge I yelped, then fell flat on my face Have I mentioned that I havent cursed properly in about five years With an impressionable kid around the house, Id taken to using the safe for network TV versions of curse words Although that impressionable kid was now seventeen, I couldnt seem to break the habit Even with my face smashed against cold tile Frak frakity frak I moaned, rubbing my bruised mouth as I righted myself from the floor I ran my tongue over my teeth to make sure I hadnt broken any of them Because, honestly, I wasnt sure I could afford dental intervention at this point My skinned kneesand my pridestung viciously as I counted my teeth again for good measure What had I tripped over I pushed myself to my feet, stumbled over to the fridge, and yanked the door open The interior light clicked on, illuminating the body stretched across the floor Shrieking, I scrambled back against the fridge, my dress shoes skittering uselessly against the tile I couldnt seem to swallow the lump of panic hardening in my throat, keeping me from drawing a breath His shirtless torso was well built, long limbs strung with thick cords of muscle Dark waves of hair sprang over his forehead in inky profusion The face would have been beautiful if it hadnt been covered in dried blood A straight nose, high cheekbones, and full, generous lips that bowed slightly He had that whole Michelangelos David thing goingif David had been an upsetting religious figurine that wept blood A half empty donor packet of O positive lay splattered against the floor, which explained the rusty looking dried splotches on his face Had he been drinking it when he passed out Vampires didnt pass out And most of them could sense when to get somewhere safe well before the sun rose They didnt get caught off guard and collapse wherever they were at dawn What the hell was going on here I eyed my shoulder bag, flung across the room when Id fallen on my face Breathing steadily, I resolved that Id call Ophelia at the local World Council for the Equal Treatment of the Undead office and leave her a message She would know what to do And I could get the hell out of there before the hungry, ill vampire rose for the night and made me his breakfast I reached over him, aiming my arm away from his mouth A strong hand clamped around my wrist I am ashamed to say that I screamed like a little girl I heard the telltale snick of fangs descending and panicked, yanking and struggling against a relentless vise grip A tug of war ensued for control of the arm that he was pulling toward his chapped, bloodied lips He tried to lunge for me, but the effort cost him, and his head thunked back to the floor with a heavy thud With my hand hovering precariously over his gaping, hungry mouth, I did the only thing I could think ofI poked him in the eye Ow, he said, dully registering pain as I jabbed my index finger against his eyelid The other eye popped open, the long, sooty lashes fluttering It was a deep, rich coffee color, the iris ringed in black Ow he repeated indignantly, as if the sensation of the eye poke was just breaking through his stupor With him distracted, I gave one final yank and broke free, holding my hand to my chest as I retreated against the fridge I took another donor packet from the shelf I popped it open and held it carefully to his lips, figuring that he wouldnt care that it wasnt heated to body temperature He shook his head faintly, wheezing Bad blood I checked the expiration date and offered it to him again No, its fine His dry lips nearly cracked as they formed the words, Poisoned stupid OK jerk, I shot back The faintest flicker of amusement passed over his even features Need clean supply, he whispered Well, Im not giving you mine, I said, shrinking away from him I dont do that Just wait to die, then, he muttered I had to bite my lips to keep from snickering or giggling hysterically I was sure that crouching over him, laughing, while he was vulnerable and agitated wouldnt improve the situation Shouting for him to hold on, I scurried out to my car, carefully shutting the door behind me so that sunlight didnt spill into the kitchen I had a case of Faux Type O in the back, destined for Ms Wexlers house the next day I grabbed three bottles from the package and ran back into the house Sadly, it only occurred to me after Id run back into the house that I should have just grabbed my purse, jumped into my van, and gunned it all the way home But no, I had to take care of vampires with figurative broken wings, because of my stupid Good Samaritan complex Kneeling beside the fallen vampire, I twisted the top off the first bottle and offered it to him Im sure this is clean I just bought it The tamper proof seals intact He gave the bottle a doubtful, guarded look but took it from my hand He greedily gulped his way through the first bottle, grimacing at the cold offering Meanwhile, I popped the other two bottles into the microwave I even dropped a penny into each one after heating them to give them a authentic coppery taste Thank you, he murmured, forcing himself into a sitting position, although the effort clearly exhausted him He slumped against the pine cabinets Like all of the Deer Haven homes, the kitchen was done in pastel earth tonesbuffs, beiges, and creams Mr Calix looked like a wax figure sagging against the pale wood Who are you, and what are you doing in my house Im Iris Scanlon, from Beeline The concierge service Ophelia Lambert arranged your service contract before you arrived in the Hollow I came by to drop off the paperwork He nodded his magnificent dark head slowly She mentioned something about a daywalker, said I could trust you I snorted Ophelia only said that because I hadnt asked questions that time she put heavy duty trash bags, lime, and a shovel on her shopping list The teenage leader of the local World Council for the Equal Treatment of the Undead office might have looked sweet sixteen, but at than four hundred years old, Ophelia, Im pretty sure, had committed felonies in every hemisphere Scary felonies Well, you seem to be feeling a bit better Ill leave these papers here and be on my way, I said, inching around him Stop, he commanded me, his voice losing its raspy quality as he pushed himself to his feet I froze, looking up at him through lowered lashes His face was fuller somehow, less haggard He seemed to be growing a little stronger with every sip of blood I need your help How could I help you You already have helped As he spoke, I picked up the faint trace of an accent, a sort of caress of the tongue against each finishing syllable It sounded old, which was a decidedly unhelpful concept when dealing with a vampire And since most vamps didnt like talking about their backstories, I ignored the sexy lilt and its effects on my pulse rate And now I need you to take me home with you Why would I take an unstable, hungry vampire home with me Do I look particularly stupid to you He snorted No, which is why you should take me home with you I already know where you live While you were running to your car, I looked in your purse and memorized your drivers license Imagine how irritated I would be, how motivated I would be to find you and repay your kindness, after I am well again I gasped, clutching my bag closer to my chest Dont you threaten me There seem to be a lot of handy, breakable wooden objects in this room Im not above living out my fonder Buffy fantasies His expression was annoyed but contrite Mostly annoyed He cleared his throat Im sorry That was out of line But I need to find a safe shelter before dark falls I have a feeling someone may be coming by to finish me off No sane person would attack me while I was at full strength I believed it, but it didnt stop me from thinking that Mr Calix was a bit full of himself How do I know that you wont drain me as soon as you stabilize I dont do that, he said, echoing my earlier pronouncement while he swept my bag from my hands I tried snatching it back, but he held it just out of my grasp, like some elementary school bully with a My Little Pony backpack Scowling at him, I crossed my arms over my chest Considering you just vaguely threatened me, I have a hard time believing that Check my wallet, on the counter I flipped open the expensive looking leather folio and found what looked like a shiny gold policemans badge Youre a consultant for the Council In terms of credibility, that means nothing to me Ive met Ophelia His lips twitched at my reference to the cunning but unpredictable teen vampire Why cant you just call her I asked Shes your Council rep This should be reported to her anyway I cant call her The Council supplied me with that blood Left here in a gift basket before I arrived, he said, giving a significant look to the discarded packet on the floor Therefore, I cant trust the Council I cant check into a hotel or seek help from friends without being tracked I have a little sister who lives with me I dont care how you ended up on the floor We dont need to be a part of it I grunted, making a grab for my bag as his tired arms drooped I am not running a stop on the vampire underground railroad I can pay you an obscene amount of money Im ashamed to say that this stilled my hand If anything would make me consider this bizarre scheme, it was money My parents had died nearly five years ago, leaving me to raise my little sister without much in the way of life insurance or savings I needed money for Gigis ever looming college tuition I needed money to keep up the house, to pay off the home equity loan Id taken out for Beelines start up capital I needed money to keep us in the food that Gigi insisted on eating And despite the fact that the business was finally becoming somewhat successful, I always seemed to just cover our expenses, with a tiny bit left over to throw at my own rabid student loan officers Something always seemed to pop up and eat away at our extra cashcar repair, school trip, explosive air conditioning failure An obscene amount of money would provide enough of a cushion that I might be able to sleep for than a handful of hours per night Mr Calix slid to the floor, apparently drained by the effort of playing purse keep away How obscene I asked, coughing suddenly to chase the meek note from my voice Ten thousand dollars for a week I quickly calculated the estimate to replace the aging pipes in my house, plus Gigis first semester tuition and the loan payment due next month, against what the Council paid even the lowliest of its underlings I shook my head and made a counteroffer Twenty five thousand Fifteen thousand I pursed my lips Im still saying twenty five thousand Which means you never quite learned how negotiating works It was a struggle, tensing my lips enough to avoid smirking How badly do you want to get off that floor, Mr Calix He grumbled Done One week, I said as I knelt in front of him, my voice firmer than I would have thought possible under the circumstances That means seven nights Not seven days and eight nights Not seven and a half nights Seven nights Done Excellent I gave him my sunniest professional smile and offered my hand for a shake Dont push it, he muttered, closing his eyes I sighed, pulling my cell phone out of my bag to call Gigi I wasnt going to make that booster meeting, after all.The thing to remember about a stray vampire is that there is probably a good reason he is friendless, alone, and wounded Approach with caution Iris Scanlon, Half Moon Hollows only daytime vampire concierge, knows about the undead than shed like Running their daylight errandsfrom letting in the plumber to picking up some chilled Faux Type Ogives her a look at the not so glamorous side of vamps Her rules are strict relationships are purely business, not friendshipand certainly not anything Then she finds her newest client, Cal, poisoned on his kitchen floor, and her quiet life turns upside down Calwho would be devastatingly sexy, if Iris thought vampires were sexyoffers Iris a hefty fee for hiding him at her place And even though hes imperious, unfriendly, and doesnt seem to understand the difference between employee and servant, she agrees But as they search for who wants him permanently dead, Iris is breaking and of her own rules particularly those about nudity Could it be that what she really needs is some intrigue and romanceand her very own stray vampire The Care and Keeping of You The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition American Girl Library Valorie Schaefer, Josee Masse on FREE shipping qualifying offers Our best selling body book girls just got even better With all new illustrations updated content ages What Are Palliative Hospice Care care can be provided in hospitals, nursing homes, outpatient palliative clinics certain other specialized clinics, or at home Medicare , Medicaid Care definition by Free Dictionary CARE kr abbr Cooperative Relief Everywhere n a A concerned troubled state mind, as that arising from serious responsibility worry b An object source worry, attention, solicitude 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max sunlight heat create blooms And One Last Thing Kindle edition Molly Harper And Download once read device, PC, phones tablets Use like bookmarks, note taking highlighting while reading Sweet Tea Sympathy Southern Eclectic, Harper Sweet Gallery Books publication Cute funny contemporary romance For part, Harper, known offbeat delightful paranormal novels Kim Salon Spa us Instagram Facebook haircare inspiration exclusive products List Final Destination characters Wikipedia horror franchise consisting five films, ten novels, two comic books composed six issues total Each medium protagonist experiences premonition himself herself several dying catastrophic accident, only escape event handful moments before turns reality Molly Maguires was Irish th century secret society active Ireland, Liverpool parts eastern United States, activism among immigrant coal miners PennsylvaniaAfter series often violent conflicts, twenty suspected members convicted murder crimes executed hanging Hooper Hooper 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    • The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires
    • 2.3
    • 156
    • Format Kindle
    • 388 pages
    • Molly Harper
    • Anglais
    • 13 November 2016

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